Sunday, June 14, 2015


It is Sunday.

And it is raining quite heavily outside.

School restarts tomorrow.

And I feel so miserable and gloomy now. I don't even bother about the whole 'Sorry-for-this-long-hiatus' thing. I am as gloomy as the dark sky. The weather is one thing to be blamed for this. School is second. And another is him being away.

Yeah, work calls suck. Especially when the workplace is hundreds of miles away from each other.

Over the course, we of course have fought for a number of times; just small arguments, like throughout the previous two-week school holiday, mainly because of my short-temper, which even surprised me sometimes. Being someone who really does not know how to pujuk people, he always pujuk me; talked me out of it first. He can be annoying at times, but he always deals with my short-temperateness, which makes me regret my tantrums afterwards.

I cried for the whole one week the first time he went away for work. No one knows this, not even him. Well, now you do. I never want a long-distance relationship, even before I got into a relationship, because I know it is hard and I don't know if I could bear with it. Yes, this is difficult. F*cking difficult. He told me we could meet each other every two / three weeks, but...sigh. I am not that strong. He makes the effort to call in few time everyday and I really appreciate that, but this heart feels empty most of the time. I may go to school with puffy eyes and laugh it off when someone points them out. I may have that poker face on the outside, but inside, only God knows. I know few more other friends (mostly teachers) who have to be away from the husband, and now I truly know how they feel. They must be waiting for school holidays, to be reunited and spend time with family, like I do now, so badly.

Just have to keep a constant reminder not to be dependent to other people or in a relationship, And to keep the heart strong. And not to get any fatter.

Monday, you suck.

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